Hum

Had a call early this morning from a lady, she told me that there is a low frequency hum affecting her health. Not a un-reasonable enquiry I thought until she told me that "They are directing it at me" ok so lets get this correct someone is directing a low frequency hum at you to affect your health.
Before she could start again I managed to persuade her to contact the local council environmental heath department.

After the call I realised that I should have told her to make a hat out of silver foil to reflect the radio waves, I’ll remember that for next time.

Where have my keys gone

The other day at 3 o’clock in the morning had a call from a gent who’s comments were "my keys have fallen into the sewage" after interrogating him a bit more it transpires that he had dropped is keys down a street drain. This person lives near central London and it had been raining for near on 24 hours, when this happen the storm drains discharge into the River Thames so is keys should now be nearing the coast of France.